メモワール

(English follows after Japanese)

　「古屋誠一メモワール．」展を見に行きました。とある内覧会の終盤、集まった人々の明るいお喋りの声を背後に聞きつつ、展示室に2人だけしかいないという静かな環境で作品を見ることができました。

　「メモワール」は20年近く続いているシリーズで、精神を病んで1985年に自死した作家の妻、クリスティーネが主な被写体になっています。この展覧会を見る前、ある美術館のショップでクリスティーネの手記が入った写真集を見つけ、冷房の利いた店内で1時間近く読みふけってしまったことがあります。他の人に理解されない孤独な恐怖や不安にさいなまれる彼女の苦悩が、胸に突き刺さるような思いになりました。展覧会は、クリスティーネの遺影から始まり、まだ小さい息子、成長した息子、共産主義の香りが色濃い東欧の風景、辛い顔つきになっていくクリスティーネ、メモワールシリーズの写真集、コンタクトシート、そして最後は若き日の笑顔のクリスティーネの写真で終わります。

　手記を読んだ後だったからか、最後のコーナーで逆回しのフィルムを見るような思いで、安堵と悲しみが同時にやってくるような気持ちになりました。もう辛くなくなってよかった、と私は思いました。自死は何も残さない、だから死んではいけない、という人の話を聞いたことがあります。しかしわたしはそうは思いませんでした。生と死の間を、らせん階段を上るように過ごしたクリスティーネの記録の断片と、それを残した作家の記憶をなぞるような体験から、その思いを新たにしました。色々な生があり、色々な死がある。どれも尊重すべきものだ、と私は信じたいと思ったのです。

"Mémoires."

I have been to Tokyo Metropolitan Museum of Photography to see the exhibition called "Seiichi Furuya Mémoires." It was a private view by some invited people from the supporters of the museum so that there are fewer people compared to usual opening days, which was so nice to concentrate on watching the exhibition.

"Mémoires." is the twenty-year series by the Japanese photographer Seiichi Furuya who has been based in eastern Europe. One of the major subjects was his wife, Christine, who suffered mental illness and died by herself in 1985. A few days before I saw this exhibition, I have been to the another art gallery and found Furuya's book with a diary of Christine in the shop. I have been reading her diary for almost one hour in that air-conditioned cold shop space. It was so painful that she wrote down again and again about her agony, fear, uneasiness and loneliness that anybody never understood. It was hard to hold my tears. Back to that exhibition, it starts from the shot of her portrait to commemorate her death, and followed by the mixture of the subjects like family, east European scenes where had some scent of Communism in 80s, and Christine which sometimes looked so unwell. In the last corner, there are some photo books of this "Mémoires." series and we also could have seen the contact sheets. (I haven't seen the contact sheets in many photo exhibitions, but I like it as it shows us how the artists see and trim the world much closer, by the way.) And at the very last part, the exhibition ends with a photo of Christine with smile on her face.

I felt sad but being released then. It was like watching the film rewinding. I suppose it was partly because I have read her diary, I really sympathised her even she chose death by herself, I found it calm to know that she never need to suffer anymore. Some people say suicide is sin and it leaves us nothing. But I didn't think so when I heard it. I convinced again when I saw this exhibition. The photos showed us the pieces of reality that Christine's life as if she has been going up the spiral staircase of balance of life and death. Mr. Furuya let us experience these "Mémoires” with Christine. Life and death are not all the same, everyone has everyone's life and death. They should be fully respected, I believed so from Mr. Furuya's works.     

「古屋誠一　メモワール.」東京都写真美術館